Friday, January 14, 2011

Here it is...MY QUERY LETTER...

So, after a few months of working on my query letter, going to hell and back again in the QLH, getting some great feedback/comments/crits and compliments (including from the main squirrel himself WOOT), I finally got a letter I feel good about. So, without further ado, here is the letter that is currently sitting in the email box of about 8 agents while I drink lots of merlot (LOTS of merlot), work on finishing up my synopsis (almost done!) and checking my email acct about 8,742 times per hour day.

Dear Awesome Agent, 

After spending seven weeks at Alina Lodge, a strict facility for troubled teenage POPs (People Of Powers), seventeen-year old Sam Reese is ready to snap. The only thing keeping her from insanity is, Josh, a fellow telepath who manages to get in her head, huff and puff, and blow her walls down, exposing her tough girl facade.

When Josh surprises Sam by joining her in a breakout he's been stubbornly against, Sam couldn't be more stoked. Never mind that getting caught could add weeks to her stay, or that news stations have reported an increase in the disappearance of teenage POPs. Nothing will stop her from getting to Manhattan's Club Milky Way for a night of music, freedom and some ha ha-in-your-face-Alina-Lodge fun.

But when Sam accepts a drink from a stranger at the club, her night of freedom comes to an end.

Waking up handcuffed to a bench, Sam not only discovers the mystery behind the nation's missing POPs, but painful truths surrounding her father's recent death. In less than forty-eight hours, she's going to be sold to the highest overseas bidder, enslaved and exploited for her powers. Restrained, drugged, and devastated by betrayal, Sam must rely on Josh to help her escape—an escape that's going to require the breakout of a lifetime.

BREAKING OUT is an 88,000-word YA Paranormal Thriller with series potential. The manuscript is available upon your request. Thank you for your time and consideration. 


Melanie Kramer-Santiago

And there you have it folks. The letter that will hopefully lead me to an agent and hopefully in the future to publication. The journey continues :D


  1. I love it! Would definetly read! ;)

    I especially like that end paragraph, it cinches my interest in this book.


  2. thanks michelle, you've always been a huge support to me. I wubbus you :) and my fingers are super crossed for you. funny how we are on this query adventure at the same time, huh?

  3. I think this sounds great, and IMO you've definitely differentiated from some of the other paranormal stories out there. I'd request :D

  4. I love love love this story idea! Crossing my fingers for you to get an agent! I need to read this book!

  5. This sounds great! Best of luck with the querying process!!

  6. congrats on making it! loved reading this. you've done such a good job with it

    so can't wait to see what happens next!


  7. thank you guys so much. lets just hope there's at least one agent out there who loves it too!!!! And more importantly, the story :D

  8. The story sounds great! Good luck on getting it out there!

  9. Great query! It sounds like you covered just about everything, and did it in a way that makes us want more. Hooray!

  10. Fab query!! Love the voice and details you incorporated. Crossing my fingers for you!!

  11. thanks guys!!! and my fingers are crossed for all of you as well!!!!!

  12. Great query letter, Mel! Can't wait until we hear an agent's requested pages. =)


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