Sunday, December 5, 2010

Ten Ways You Know You're No Longer Addicted to Twilight

10. You've stopped researching the internet to see if they have any 12 Step programs for Twilightaholics.
9. You no longer ask random people if they've read Twilight so you can engage them in a 2 hour discussion about the books even though you've discussed them a million times already.
8. The Twilight Saga Message board is no long a tab on your bookmarks bar (though it may still be in the bookmark menu ;))
7. The books have actually been put away in your bookcase and no longer sit on your nightstand just so you can stare at them every night before you go to sleep and feel closer to them.
6. You no longer question why your spouse can't be more like Edward and realize that you wouldn't actually want a guy who is as hard as marble, cold as ice, likes to eat raw animals, is 108 years old, likes to control you and who your friends are, likes to stare at you for hours while you sleep, and can't make love to you for fear he'll kill you.
5. You actually laugh when you see things like Twilight board games and Twilight dolls while hanging out with your kids in the toy section of a store.
4. You contemplate taking down your framed twilight posters because you realize how insane it is that you have them hanging in your bedroom even though your dear sweet husband bought them for you for Xmas one year because he's so sweet and so awesome and totally supported your crazy addiction (wait a minute, isn't that enabling? Hmmm...)
3. You've finally realized that being Team Edward or Team Jacob is totally inappropriate because these guys are almost young enough to be your sons and that's just eeeeewwwww gross. (what the hell was I thinking. Eeewwww).
2. When people ask you if you've ever read or heard about the book Twilight, you say, "Yes. They're great. You should read them" instead of "What??? Are you fucking kidding me??? You haven't read them yet?!?  They are like the best books EVER. I read all four books in a week!!! Oh my God!!! You HAVE to read them!!! Like now!!! I read the whole series and then read the entire series again right away, which I've never ever done before in my life!! Read them and then call me and tell me what you think! (So we can discuss the books for a good 2 hours because I can't get enough.)

And lastly,

1. You are heading to the register in Target and see a stand stocked with the Eclipse dvd and think, "Oh. When did that come out?" and then casually grab one and throw into your cart. (Yeah, back in the day, I would have known the exact day and time of release! Oops. Ha. Thus the realization that I'm over the Twilight craze. Though they will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart.)

What about you? What can you add to this list? 


  1. Okay, I'm not addicted - well, not really, I uh... I'm using Vampire Diaries to ... uh... then True Blood to uh... you know til the next movie. Whew, lol!

  2. hahhahahahah LM. Yeah, True Blood was a life saver. Now I'm kinda addicted to that instead. Ha.

  3. I'm out of the loop on this one, as I've never seen or read Twilight.

  4. I can confess to 7 and 1, but I'm not quite addicted enough to have done the rest :P I was part of that select group that read Twilight way back in 2005 or 2006, when no one knew YA was a genre. I love it, but the movies have sort of ruined it for me :(

    Great list!

  5. LOL.

    I never got into the Twilight craze - although I read them all back in the day when no one knew about them and thought they were pretty cool :) Haven't ever re-read though - so I've forgotten all the characters!

    You are so funny Mel!


  6. You've stopped checking SMeyer's website daily PRAYING that she's decided to start writing Midnight Sun again.

    ...I still hope she finishes it, though. It had the potential to be the best book in the series, imo.


  7. Haha, great list. I was never that addicted to them though I did read them three times! I was in a parking lot last year and saw a car that was spray painted with Team Edward all over it!! Now that is fandom. :)

    P.S. Your hubby is awfully sweet. :)

  8. I was never a Twilight superfan, but may I suggest one more sign:

    You can look at the Regretsy pages for Twilight items and laugh, instead of thinking, "I'd buy that."

  9. Angelica - LOL

    Like others, I was never a big fan and, in fact, didn't read the last book (the horror!!). Love your list, Mel!!

  10. OMG, Angelica, that is so funny...the personalized picture with Edward and Jacob bwaahahahahahahaha.

  11. Did you go through all the pages? The manllow on page 2? And on page 4, the vinyl wall lettering that says, "I'm just a Bella, waiting for my Edward." Especially the Regretsy caption that says, "Oh this is a great idea. Giant vinyl lettering on your wall that tells every new sex partner you’d rather be f**king a dead teenager." That sort of ties in to your #3.

  12. How about when you come to appreciate the movie, Vampires Suck?

  13. hahahha, Adam. You know, I was kind of addicted to it, but not to the point that I couldn't LMAO at a great spoof of it. However, I could not bring myself to see that movie. Not because it made fun of Twilight, but because it did it with cheesy humor that I don't really care for. It was from the same makers as Meet the Spartans and that movie just sucked butt. I HATED it. Couldn't even get through the whole thing. I don't like corny humor and when I saw the trialer for Vamipres Suck, I could tell it was the same type of jokes and style of humor. I prefer the ones they have on Youtube.

  14. OMG your list is great. I'll admit to almost all of them. LOL

  15. hehe...finally! I'm not crazy and all alone :-) Well, I may still be crazy, BUT I'M NOT ALONE. thanks Annie :-)


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