Okay, so I just read a very powerful post on Natalie Whipple's blog. My heart ached as I read about the rough journey getting published has been for her so far. And we're talking a really intense up and down, slamming hard into walls that's full of mental and emotional injury type of journey.
And it scared the shit out of me.
Not to the point that I want to give up (and God knows if Natalie has not yet given up, I'd be a total loser fool to even consider it), but it has given me a major reality check of what's to come. I don't even have an agent yet, but I thought once I did, it would be smooth sailing from there. You know, something like this:
I get an Agent like this *snap of fingers*
Some minor edits/revision asked of me. No problem
I Go on Sub
Every pub vying for my novel, it goes to auction and I come out with a six figure deal close to a million $s
I mean, it happens, right? I know it does because I just read about it happening to some unknown first time author and so of course I'm all like, "Yeah, it can happen to me because my story is brilliant and different and so well written and...and...
"And then BAM. A fucking bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces"
Sorry if TMI with the Cousin Vinny quote, but I imagine that must be how it feels when your journey (or any dream for that matter) takes you on a totally different and unexpected path to the town of -sorry-you're-not-as-perfect-and-great-and-wonderful-as-you,-your-friends,-and-family-think-you-are-and-there-are-a-million-better-writers-with-better-ideas-than-you-out-in-the-world-so-get-a-damn-grip.
Yes, I need to stopping dreaming too big. Everyone wants to think they are brilliant (at least I know I don't want to walk around thinking I'm a loser), but the truth is, there are no guarantees in this business and it can take a loooooooooong time to really make it big in this business (if at all). So, I will continue to write my ass off, but I also need to stay real about my future and what I will do to make money and help provide for my family. My girls start Kindergarten next year, which means no more being a SAHM. Time to find a $$$ making job because even if I get one of my books agented and published, it doesn't mean I will be the next SM or JKR or SC. If it happens, it will be like hitting the lottery. I can't live my life as though the next time I play lotto I will win and life will be cake.
I'm about to enter the querying stage. I ask those of you who have already been through it (whether you got an agent or haven't as of yet, but are still trying) what advice can you give me about what to expect. Lay the reality on me. I seriously need a Marisa Tormei slap in the forehead.
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