Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Tuesday's Tempting Teaser

Okay, don't know how "tempting" it is, but Teaser Tuesday and Tuesday's Teaser are such common titles that I had to change mine up a bit lol.

If you haven't read chapter 1, you can read it here. And feel free to leave a comment or feedback if you'd like :-). Or you can click on the link at the top of the page that says WIP chapter 1.

So, this is my first teaser that shows something that's not part of chapter 1. The only people who have seen anything other than chapter 1 are my BETA readers so this is extremely nerve racking for me! Okay so this is the opening scene from Chapter 2. It takes place in the cafeteria of Alina Lodge, which is a facility for troubled teenage POPs (Person of Powers). These kids aren't necessarily mentally unstable. They are there because they have "issues" or have gotten into some trouble with the law (usually for using their powers for illegal means). Also, if you haven't read chapter 1, you should know that when Sam (Samantha) and Josh are talking in italics, they are talking telepathically.



            My eyes scan the cafeteria. Everyone looks familiar. The new girl isn’t here. Searching for the most isolated table, I head toward the back of the room, tray in one hand, waistband of my pajama pants in the other. They keep falling down.
The food here sucks.
I must have lost at least four pounds. Like I need to lose any weight. I’m withering away to nothing and my 5’10" height is making me look like a gangly string bean. At least that was the comment some bitch threw at me last week—a comment that landed a tray of food in her lap and me several extra hours of laundry duty. 
It was worth it.
"You’re in a better mood." Josh comments from behind me.
"Don’t worry, it’s only temporary." I peer back over my shoulder with a cheesy grin. "Apparently my sister sprained her ankle during soccer this morning so my mom had to cancel. She’s coming next week instead."
Josh nudges me toward a table. We sit down.
He stares at me for a moment, reading my face. "You look tired. Another crappy night?"
"If they would just give me my damn iPod I’d sleep like baby." Knowing this discussion will take me to a dark place, I rapidly change the topic. So tell me about the newbie. Who is she? What’s her deal?
I ask him this telepathically because Sarah, aka, Dumbo, is here. She doesn’t have big ears, but she does have supersonic hearing. I don’t like having people in my business.
             She’s nice. Quiet. Seems a bit shy. She’s right up your alley. I’m sure you guys will become the best of friends.
I pick up one of my grapes and throw it at him. He catches it, tosses it in his mouth, and grins. "Thanks," he says.
So what’s her deal? I ask again. Did you find out what she did to get in here? What her powers are?
He’s focused on his food, adding salt and pepper then mixing it around with the fork. Actually, I was in the lobby reading a book last night when she was being checked in.
And?
And…her name’s Marina, she’s our age, comes from a wealthy family, lives in the upper-East side of Manhattan, attends private school, blah, blah, blah.
Great, so she’s a seventeen year old, snooty rich bitch.
Hey, take out the rich and she’s not much different than you.
He’s failing miserably to suppress a laugh. He knows how to get to me. I show him an upside down middle finger. "Can you hear it?" I ask.
No, but I betcha Dumbo can. "Better keep it turned down," he retorts with a wink.
I roll my eyes and snort a laugh. He can always go to battle with me. I like that about him.
"So you still haven’t told me what she did to get in here. What are her powers?" I realize there’s no point in keeping this between us. Everyone eventually knows why we’re here and what our powers are.
Josh has shoveled a glop of food in his mouth. It’s supposed to be some kind of pasta dish—alfredo, I think—but it looks and smells like a plate of cat puke. It’s killing my already limited appetite. I wait for him to swallow and watch as his face scrunches up.
"This food tastes like crap," he finally says.
"Ya think?"
"Let me go see what else they have to eat. I’ll be right back." He gets up with his tray and walks off.
With Josh away from the table, I munch on some fruit and pick at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but I’m quickly bored. 

13 comments:

  1. I love it, but you already know that. You're the only teaser I'm visiting today, cuz I love you too much to stay away!!

    Hey, that rhymes - Dr. Seuss look out.

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  2. First time reading your stuff. I enjoyed this! I liked the male POV and love the power twist you have in this story. Would read on!

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  3. Thanks Angie :-) I heart you too :-) Thanks for stopping by Doc haha.

    Hey Christa, thanks for stopping by! Just curious, but I was wondering if you thought Sam was a guy? It's okay if you did because she's the kind of girl who gets along with guys more so than girls, but Sam is actually a girl. Or were you talking about Josh's actions coming across very guyish? I guess I don't really mention much about her sex though there is a small line in the first chapter where she mentions throwing her hair up in a pony bun. Just wondering, but in any event thanks so much for taking the time from your day to comment. :-)

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  4. I thought this was male POV too until you said that. It's good you mentioned putting her hair in a ponytail earlier though! And it should be clear in the query/blurb.

    I really liked the voice in this! Very interesting read. Can't wait to read more! :)

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  5. Thank you so much Karla for stopping by :-) It's so funny that people are seeing this as mpov, but I guess it makes sense if you are not familiar with the first chapter where the hair is mentioned, and also she is referred to by her full name, Samantha. It didn't even occur to me that this would happen, but as I said, it's all good because Sam is more one of the guys than one of the girls in terms of how she often carries herself. I'm just glad the first chapter makes it clear she is a girl (Whew!)

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  6. I'm sure I said it on chapter one but I'll say it again, I am loving this. Yes it may read as mpov if you haven't read the first chapter but that just adds to Sam's rough and tough tom-boy image.
    I've always thought of doing a Powers story but between X-men and Heroes a lot of possible story lines there have become a bit clich├ęd so I'm interested in how you manage to pull this off without it seemingly like a rip-off of something else.

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  7. Hey F.I.C., thanks for coming back to visit and read :-) This is my second powers novel (my first is currently trunked), but I think (and hope) what has made my power stories different is that they are YA stories, whereas X-Men and Heroes both deal with older characters and thus different kinds of issues. With YA, I feel like there is so much more stuff that I get to tap into just because (as all YA writers know) there is so much more raw emotions and issues that teens are dealing with. Also, I have tried to write this story with a sort of contemporary feel so that the powers almost become a secondary component to the story until later when BAM the importance of powers really kicks in. At least this is my hope. So far my BETA readers have indicated to me that my overall story is unique and not cliche at all. The story seems light now, but it does get quite dark later on.

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  8. It read as fpov to me, and I LOVED the voice in this. Entertaining read until the end, loved it :D

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  9. Thank you so much Bri! Those words are so super encouraging to me. Thanks for stopping by :-)

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  10. I've read some of this book before (I think AW SYW?) and really like what you're doing with it. There's so much to play with all the normal teenage trials and the powers all in the mix.

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  11. Thanks so much Angelica for your encouraging words. Yes, you were one of the first people to comment on my work when I posted my first chapter in SYW and I appreciate your thoughts and feedback both then and now. And what you have said is exactly what I"m going for and how I"m hoping to make this unique and not cliche. A sort of contemporary flavor with the play of powers sprinkling through. Thanks for coming by and taking the time to share your thoughts. :-)

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  12. First time posting! (I read chapter one, but wanted to comment on chapter two more.)

    I really enjoyed this perspective. Sam's mind is - like everyone else said - almost like a man's if you hadn't of differentiated otherwise. This isn't a bad thing at all, it made me see her as resilient and sharp. (Like...a sword? Oh my metaphors are terrible.)

    I'm excited to read more!

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  13. Hi Michelle :-) Thanks for posting! And thanks for your comments on my work. Yes, sharp and resilient would be excellent words to describe her. I'm glad she's coming across that way!

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